Gavin and I have been married 29 years today - happy anniversary to us! Considering the fact that we accidentally met on a street corner at a young age, I often ponder our success with marriage. Statistics out there are pretty dismal. Divorce is at an all-time high. Even more concerning is that out of the 45% who stay married, less than 10% of those couples define their relationship as excellent. We all know those couples who co-exist or are in a Cold War “for the sake of the kids.”
In this week’s Torah portion of Dvarim (Deuteronomy), we learn a powerful lesson. Moses has appointed Joshua as his successor to lead the Israelites to The Promised Land. Moses was transitioning from his role as the man who performed miracles and fought for the people to someone who would be remembered as the greatest leader of his people.
Moses’ greatness was that his final act in his last month of life was to speak to the people, hence the chapter title Dvarim (Deuteronomy) - the Hebrew word for words. Moses knew his “why” - his purpose - as a leader. His goal was to transform the Jewish people into the “Holy people” - a nation that understands and acknowledges that G-d is Supreme.
Perhaps our reason for success in our marriage is that we know our purpose as a couple: we have the opportunity to impact our world in a lasting way. This shapes our parenting, community work, professional lives, and most importantly, is the backdrop and driving force in our relationship.
What is your “why” - your inner-life purpose? Now that’s food for thought!