When We Parent Our Children, We Parent Ourselves
Last night we had our monthly Metroimma call with Slovie Jungreis-Wolff, author of Raising a Child with Soul.
The questions raised around the theme of back to school were diverse including bullying, getting our kids to talk, parents talking to teachers, self esteem, school rules and rewards. I moderate the questions and, at one point, I exclaimed, “Wow, being a parent is so complicated!” and Slovie responded, “When we parent our children, we parent ourselves.”
Oh how true, our little monkeys watch us and do as we do. How many times I have recently heard Temira share something that I had said verbatim. I do not swear but last week something happened that made me so angry and I said the four letter word, not knowing Caily was around. Two minutes later, I hear “$#%#!” from her.
We immas are over stretched, highly pressured, and juggle multiple priorities. I really believe each one of needs a mentor. As stated in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers), “Find yourself a Rabbi and a friend.” I believe this is so important.
I feel like the words of Torah wisdom I hear from Slovie sharpen me. We moms, like knives, lose our sharp edge while we go through the motion of parenting. Learning Torah values on parenting sharpens my knife so I am a better person, a better parent.
Metroimmas, we are the gate keepers, influencers, and decision makers for our families. One imma can change a whole world. My blessing to all of us this Rosh Hashana is that we work on ourselves to be the best person we can so that we can be immas who impact our children in the best way possible.
Originally published: September 27, 2011